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When It Comes To Sex, What Do Women Really Talk About?
Recently, John wrote to me with the following query:
I’ve got a question for you, from a guy’s perspective. To set the stage, here’s a quote from Friends:
Ross: Women tell each other everything. Did you know that?
Chandler: Umm, yeah.
Ross: No Chandler, everything! Like … stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girt…
Chandler: Girth? Why, why, why, why, why, why, why would they do this?
Ross: Rachel says sharing is great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. So … d’you wanna?
Chandler: We’re not gonna talk about girth are we?
So my question is … do women really talk about girth? What do women talk about when they’re talking about sex? Because maybe men wouldn’t admit it but I think we all, deep down, would feel flattered if we thought that we did (or had) something so special in bed that a woman would talk about it with her friends. But it’s a big mystery to us.
Women present a broad and varied spectrum of people, so I can’t presume to speak for my gender as a whole. But personally, yes I have been known to dish about girth and other details of my sexual exploits, though perhaps not in the way one might assume. As this nola.com article mentions, guys are just as likely to compare notes about Baton Rouge call girls and other women they’ve slept with.
I’m a fan of the penis but I definitely wouldn’t characterize myself as a size queen. I’m more captivated by their shape and hydraulic function than how big one is in relation to another. I rarely have conversations along the lines of “Oh my god is dick is SO huge/wide/small!”
Discussions about size usually happen when it presents a functional challenge I haven’t encountered before. Things “Hey, Group of Friends, my partner’s cock is longer than my vagina, how can I stop it from poking me in the cervix?” Or “Trusted Confidante, my partner has a slender penis. Do I need to apply more suction when I’m blowing him?”. Or “Hey pals! Standard size condoms don’t fit my partner properly. What should we do?”
Size may effect the way in which I have sex with a dude, but if I’m having sex with someone it’s a safe bet that I have only good things to say about him and his penis.
My friends and I do talk about kissing. If my experiences and conversations are anything to go by, the positive assessment of a kiss (especially a first kiss) is directly proportional to how smitten one is. A text-book perfect embrace that’s tender, yet confident may illicit nothing more than a regretful “It was a good kiss but…” followed by a string of rationalizations that really mean I’m just not that into him. I knew a guy who actually used a girlfriend for hire service primarily because he could find women who were great kissers. Yes, such girlfriend-renting services do really exist. Unlike an escort service, the primary goal isn’t always sex (though of course the guy is hoping for that outcome). Renting a girlfriend is just that — paying a woman to go out dates with you.
See this washingtonpost.com article for more on how renting a girlfriend is becoming popular.
Meanwhile, a sloppy smooch from an object of my affection has always meant jubilant announcements to friends, well-wishes and random strangers on the bus that “OH MY GOD! HE KISSED ME!”. Every moment preceding and proceeding the kiss must be relived in nuanced detail and celebra – yes, I understand this is your bus stop, ma’am. But HE KISSED ME!
My friends and I do talk about moves. A LOT. We talk about what we enjoy and what we don’t as well as the tactile likes and dislikes of our various partners.
What’s interesting, however is that in all the years that I’ve been jawing about the specifics of touching, caressing, fondling, spanking, biting, scratching, thrusting, licking, sucking and positioning – I cannot remember a single instance of someone saying, “I was with this person and they just had this awesome move and that gave me galactic orgasms! And I didn’t even have to ask!”
This is not to say that no one has ever that experience. But I suspect it’s rare. The conversations I have are more along the lines of “I had to show my partner that I like my clit touched this way” or “When he came, he wanted me to hold his balls like that.” It’s taught me that for most people, good partnered sex is less about innate skill and more about getting guidance from the other people involved. I think women’s interested in different sexual experiences has led to the rise in women who download porn apps for their cellphones. Having a pornapp on a phone allows for viewing porn of all types, but still gives a little more privacy than watching it on the Internet from a PC in your house (where others might walk in on you and see the monitor).
Married Love, Life and Sex
There are aspects of my married sex life I’m comfortable discussing, but others I’m more reluctant to share. I have no problem telling someone what type of sex I enjoy or dishing about some kinky conjugal adventure The Man of Mans and I have shared. I’m proud that after 16 years together, we’re still into one another.
I’m less forthcoming about the fact that we don’t always have a lot of sex. I think I’m a little self-conscious because lack of sex is one of those horrible stereotypes that persist in our society about marriage inevitably devolves into passionless monotony. The Man of Mans is the great love of my life. I still feel great passion for him, but the truth that I don’t often share is that sometimes parenting, fatigue or the effect of my anxiety/depression get in the way of sexy times.
Everyone is included
This isn’t about what I talk about when discussing sex, but rather who I discuss sex with. I don’t tend to segregate my friends based on gender, which means that I’m not only having these conversations with my girlfriends but with all sort of folks in my life.
The original question clearly demonstrates that women are not the only people who are curious about sex – not only the act itself but what other people think and feel about it.It’s a fascinating topic and one that many people want to be able to chat about. So I will chat about it with virtually anyone who’s willing to join me in the conversation. Which is exactly why I love answering questions like these!
Do you talk about sex with your friends? Which topics do you discuss? Do you prefer to talk shop with friends of the same gender or are you an equal-opportunity smut sharer? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, or drop me an e-mail if you have a query of your own!
When Going With An Escort, Why Not Go High Class
If you ever look over the Yellow Pages of any city or town in your country then you will most likely come across one or more escort listings. Escorts supply companionship services to men, whether they want to go out for an evening or remain indoors at his own place. Escort businesses are typically expensive, but should you are in a more outlying location then you may get a buy.
However, when you reside in a big urban center then you’ll encounter considerably more costly escort agencies. A number of these escort businesses offer you “high class escorts,” that are generally purchased by wealthy men and celebrities. To begin with, high class escorts are exclusive to well-to-do men just.
Concerning their services, every escort can be a bit more loyal towards one client. For instance, let us say an individual businessman goes to New York City for a week on business. He may be going to a number of dinners in that time and will not want to go out alone. Consequently, he will use the services of a high class escort so as to get her companionship for the whole week. By bringing exactly the same lady by his side he will not raise too many concerns. High class escorts also tend to be a whole lot more appealing than the typical escorts. In fact, many look like supermodels. With one of these girls by a guy’s side, he will appear to be the most significant person in the room.
There can be different ranges of types in all aspects of life. On a plane, it is possible to travel first class to be able to experience a pleasant flight. If you would like to go out to dine you are able to pick either a fancier eatery like Olive Garden or a cheap restaurant like Denny’s. It’s all about what you can afford and how much cash you have.
The majority of high class escorts can make $300 and $600 an hour. Whenever they end up spending the entire evening with a man then they will certainly make at least five grand. One good thing concerning knowing the amount high end escort agencies cost is that now the amount that a typical escort agency charges doesn’t sound nearly so pricey!
If you are somebody trying to find an escort who is high class then you likely learn through word of mouth about an agency. Many high class escort businesses are generally very private and exclusive, which means they don’t merely advertise their offerings in the classifieds section of your local newspaper. Folks in upper class communities usually refer their close friends and acquaintances to these agencies and that is how they acquire their business.